and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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