just tell him i said nine months
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
