OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
