if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
