Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I'm passing your future prison.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
