i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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