I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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