How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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