I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
