What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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