can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
