He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize