Farmville is her only friend.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
