a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
