All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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