we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
