Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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