how can u be prego again
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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