i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
