plz talk dirty to me
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
