I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my sisters under your porch take her home
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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