I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
