My sheets look like a crime scene.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
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If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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