Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
