It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
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Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
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You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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