So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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