do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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