nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
