Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
