I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You need a sexual gate keeper
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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