dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
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i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
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Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
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