i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
