did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
