we have pet lesbian snakes
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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