I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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