ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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