Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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