hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
