If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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