Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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