I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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