He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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