when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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