a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
