So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
