they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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