I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Randomize
