my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I've blown a few things in my day
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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