My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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