Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
