I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
