I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
i out mim tonsoeep
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