There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I think people are normalizing furries
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize