At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
