i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
