You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I have already put on my inside pants.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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