It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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