Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
