Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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