it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
