All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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