dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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