Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
