so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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