OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
