I want to make a zoo with you.
Please, let me fuck your mom
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Randomize
