is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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