Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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