Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
