shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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