Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
