I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
