Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
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