I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize