The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
